Friday May 3rd was a horrible day. I find no other words to describe or summarize. For the very first time I write a post that feels more important than inspiring. After years of fighting her cancer Tove Skoog has now fallen asleep, at age of 24. In my flooded river of emotions I found floating on top things such as Injustice, Sadness, Emptiness and a small portion Anger. Same word always come back to me …. why?!
During this year, Tove has been thrown back and forth in hope and despair, but always carrying the knowledge not to give up! This impression I got from my own perspectives. Through social media, she urged others to seize life and live at greatest, because you never really know when it all ends. That’s what we take with us at this point, my mind and thoughts goes to family and close friends. A lovely family that spreads warmth and joy! That her illness finally won is so tragic, but I know for sure she did not give up easily.
To keep hopes up, I had placed these nice pictures in my head after my biking adventure. Tove was healed from all the misery and stood there with a welcoming hug. Unfortunatly, that is not going to happen and at first it felt like a rock hard fist in my face. As I sat by myself in a room at work, in my sudden emotional storm in my solitude, a lot of things flew around in my head. With the start of this project, a sense of Closeness increasingly presented itself. Let me explain …
When you’re on the road travelling it is very often to escape everyday lives and seek excitement. You move to a different world to escape a little of everydaylife. Work 7 am-4 pm, eat, sleep …. All of this changes to new experiences and impressions. This is how I have found my life outside Sweden’s security wall. But even now when I have not even started my next adventure, everything feels much closer and convoluted. I do this for something important that I neither want to nor can escape from. I now open my eyes and do not feel so alone and small any longer. Dare to dive in and get involved you too, its for a good cause.
It takes time to write now …. Usually, words flow and I do not really know which one to choose from all of them … But a lot of thoughts come and go that need to be processed, I think about Tove. When someone close experience something horrible, you have to take the situation/day step by step. We need to confirm first and find out what has really happened, getting all the pieces in place. Then calmly take in emotions from yourself and others, while letting all pain within you go away. Crying is good and useful, maybe something a lot of us should do more often? It gets better with time, always . We never forget such a tragedy and should not do it neither. When you feel recovered enough to go back to living, do that and do it without any guilt. I’m trying to say that we must appreciate what we have and remember Tove with love. I think that is exactly what she wanted.
I also try to remind myself that the Cancer foundation part of my project is not just about people around me, but is greater than that. For all others sake, I always find a glow to fight on. These things I feel more and more now that the start of cycling is approaching of more and more. It feels great and I’m a proud ambassador of Airbourne. You all have done a great job with your benevolence, that has been shown especially wuth my t-shirt sales where 91 shirts have been sold and are finished printing on Wednesday May 15th. This, along with a couple of lectures, a flying start has given Airbourne Charity Collection at LEAST U.S$1.000! The exact amount will shown later when I get the actual cost of the making of the shirts, with a little luck I can press down the price down a bit to increase the fundraiser even more!
So everybody, in just over two weeks, it is May 26th, when the adventure starts. But please honor Tove by donating some money to the Cancer Society. Feel well everybody will speak with you again soon!